confessions of a...

Ya know when people talk about their past haunting them? Well my past is pretty calm. Nothing too crazy from me- the worst I ever did was sneak out-oh wait, my friends couldn't even convice me to do that. So you see- I'm not the most dare devil type. It's not that I didn't want to have random adventures- I did still have great times, just nothing that I regret whole heartily today. However, my past is still haunting me. Because it has come to my full attention that I had a bad case of 'toolette'. That's what my friends call it. You know- the girls in the designer jeans, shop at the buckle, 6 days a week spent at the tanning salon. Friends- this was me. This was me at full throttle. And let me tell you- I am not proud.


I once upon a time spent hundreds of dollars on jeans. The more stuff packed onto the pocket- the better! I spent ridiculous amounts of money on juicy charms and juicy slippers, Ed hardy shoes and hats. I even had a really cute Ed hardy key chain (sike). I went tanning like it was my job- I was black on January 2nd. I thought boys with big trucks were so cute, and a little faux hawk would just seal the deal. Put him in a nice pair of trues and i was smitten. And i always had a big pair of diamond studs in my ears.( Don't worry- while I wrote this, I was throwing up in my mouth. ) on a better note, i never once owned a pair of ugg(lies) and dont plan on it either.

These days you couldn't catch me dead. And yes whenever I see jersey shore I can't help but think of my original snooki poof. As much as I wish I could say- I never liked that look, I cant lie. Because when I roam through my highschool pics and Dixie albums - I am haunted by my lack of style and look.
How did i become so obsessed withthe bling and dazzled and why didnt anyone try and stop me? Where was my head and was was elle, glamour, vouge, and harpers baazar to resurrect myself? Was someone playing a sick joke on me and my wallet? Cus it certainly isn't funny and it certainly doesn't make sense why anyone would want anyone to go through such a thing! At night I just have to clothe my eyes and thank everyone that has helped me get back on to the right path that I am on today. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't- I would probably have wings on the back of my shirt- in rhinestones!

Okay okay. although I am disappointed in myself- I have to say that I am glad my past haunts me because of my taste in clothes rather than the choices I made. Because although I wore awful clothing and had awful taste in what was cute- I had some of the best years of my life down in st george (where my toolette days were waxing strong) that I will never forget.  I had the time of my life, even if I was doing it in a Jean skirt from American eagle- I was living with amazing people and having amazing adventures all day long. As I grow up I realize how I wont have those opportunities to live with my friends like that anymore but i will always treasure those memories forever.

So although my past has been haunting me- I also really loved my past. And I've been kind of starting a new chapter in my life, with starting a career and moving back home and growing up- but this time I just hope to do it a with better taste- plain jeans for 10 bucks and certainly no Ed hardy, designer jeans or juicy couture....


until next time, a few photos of my toolette days to humor you.

make it stopppp, make it stooop!!  thats all that i can bear to look at for now ...

adios.xoxxxx.

ocd:foodaddition

blame it on the way i was raised. but i love me some food. i love to talk about it. spend money on it. go to nice places to get it. and most importantly, i love to eat it.  


blame it on the way i was raised. but i love me some routine. yep i like to switch it up every now and again. but i like waking up in the morning with some sort of plan or something to look forward to.  it helps my weeks flow a little bit more smoothly and i have less time to worry about silly things.




now combine food + routine and you will discover one of my many peculiar traits about me. no i dont eat at the same time everyday, or the same thing for every dinner on every tuesday night.  its not that extreme. however, i get a little stuck.  and by stuck i mean- i get obsessed with a food and eat in routinely over and over until i get sick of it and then i find something new.




allow me to disect just a bit.  when i was in elementary school, not sure what grade- i became obsessed with bacon! oh man did i love it. and so i would have my mom buy it for me and i would cook it in the microwave just about every day and then watch some arthur while i was at it.  i was addicted to it. i ate it and loved it so so much.  then one day after my bacon obsesh had started to fizzle, my mom suprised me and brought home some bacon (creepy how that just sounded). i looked at her like duh didnt you know, "i dont like bacon anymore mom" whaaaat? how was she supposed to know? well she was- i was simply over my bacon streak.  




after the bacon it was the german pancakes, it was the only thing i knew how to make- and so i made it once a week. then it was waffle crisp, then nutella and bananas down at dixie, then it was the rice sides, then eggs on toast the first year down at provo,  then cottage cheese with bbq chips, then the fire cheetos streak occured, oh and cant forget the blueberries (still kinda obsessed still). you see- ive been through it all. i eat it all the time. everyday, couple times a week, once a week at least. and it usually lasts for a couple months at a time. until i simply just wear my little taste buds out with the same freaking taste over and over again. then i dont eat it for months again. then the cycle begins again. i try it again about 6 months later and im like- OH MY GOSH I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT HOW GOOD EGGS ARE!? and you know what happens next.




so my current obsession right now...waffles. i may or may not have had them 3 times in a week before i went to mexico and that was the first thing i made when i came home.  im obsessed with making people waffles as well. its probably not the best thing to be addicted to- especially when i fill each crater with butter and then top it off with straight sugary syrup. but i cant help it....once im addicted- i just cant get enough (thank you black eyed peas).  


so im not sure what it will be next. or when my waffle obsesh will end but i can tell you this- i will be having waffles tmrw while we watch the bachelorette! cant wait for this season to start :)




thats all. i dont know what my deal is- but when i love something, i REALLY love it. like really a lot. too much for my own good. a big shout out and thank you to my taste buds for putting up with me.

now try and honestly tell me you arent gonna make waffles this week....? my mouth is watering and my stomach is growling from these delightful photos.  i need to stop now.

this or THAT

this past week i was in mexico. and we played a lot of "would you rather" or "this or that". i am sorta obsessed. i think its so interesting to see what people choose- it tells so much aboutt hem with one simple answer. like for example, chocolate or vanilla? no question- choc all the way. but my vanilla peeps all the sudden seem like a different species to me. i find it so interesting that they would actually choose vanilla white cake over a delish chocolate one! baffles me. but i love the differences we all have- its what makes us unique. i decided to continue with some more questions and that was you can get to know me just a tad more ya digg.

Staying up all night or going to bed early? considering its almost - i should say staying up. BUT i wish i went to bed early.

Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream or oreo ice cream? honestly im not a big ice cream fan, but id rather have cookie dough than oreo.

Roses or lilies? lilies

Relationship or one night stand? relationship. obvi

Unicorns or horses? unicorns if they were realisies.

Tigers or lions? lions. cus it starts with L. just like me.

Kiss or cuddle? kiss

A romantic night in or a night out at the club? romantic night in.

Guitar or drums? guitar

Summer or winter? summer

Being loved or feared? loved duh!

Lust or love? love

Revenge or acceptance?  acceptance

Sweats or jeans? lounge- sweats. out- jeans.

Christmas or Thanksgiving? xmas

Hot or cold weather? hot, boil me if you please

Being short or tall? i guess short.

get stepped on by an elephant or get beat up by a leprauchaun? leprauchaun. he's just a little guy right?

 drink a shot of lemon juice or smell like poop for a week? tough....lemon juice. (sarcasm to the max)

eat an entire watermelon or get really bad sunburn? okay jennifer gardiner. if you shall, ask her the famous would you rather HAHA. but watermelon. i wouldnt even be mad- they are good.

 be blind or deaf? deaf

meet Justin Timberlake or Paris Hilton? what kind of question is this! JT!

 be a professional singer or actor? singer

be able to stop time or be invisible? mmm...stop time

 have six inch long nails or purple eyes? i would be pleased with purple eyes. that would be sweet.

 own a two headed snake or a purple cow? cow. snakes make me dry heave.

 live in California or Cancun? cali. vacation in cancun.

Orange or Yellow? yellow

black or white? black

green or Blue? sooo tough. can i have both?

Day or Night? day

 Vanilla or Chocolate ice cream? infamous. chocolate

Cake or Brownies? mmm...a good cake.

 Several small houses in different places or a mansion? several small if they are legit places

 TV or Computer? computer. just watch tv on it.

 Smile or Laugh? smile AND laugh

Dog or Cat? dog dog doogggg

 Pepsi or Coke? coke please

 Caramel or Butterscotch? butterscotch

 Sugar Cookies or Snickerdoodles? sugar cookies. but snickerdoodles are delish

 Disney or Cartoon Network? disney! woot.

 MTV or TLC? tlc as of late.

 Country or Rap? a little bit of both.

 Comedy or Horror Movies? i refuse to watch scary movies. so comedy.

 Wheat or White bread? wheat.

 English Muffin or Bagel? love both

 Pizza or Pasta? mmm...yikes both.

  Pumpkin or Pecan Pie? pumpkin :)

 Snow or Rain? rain   

 Mexican or Chinese Food? mexican. but i love me some chinese!

youngin beauties francisco lachowski or j biebs?

? 

thaaas it.

xoxxx

little celebrations.

i have a few things i want to kinda sorta celebrate, ya know? nothing huge- just small things that i could overlook but instead i want to recognize them and celllebrate of course!

first.

i moved home all my stuff from provo yesterday. now i have nothing to worry about being in two places. i wont have to do it later this summer and im officially moved out :)

second. 

in the process of moving out all my stuff- guess what little gem i found under my bed?! yep you guessed it!! MY CAMERA USB CONNECCCCTOR CORD. was i the happiest girl ever? yes. was i by myself but still squeeled? yes! i had decided earlier this week that i was just going to buy a new one for my trip, but i dont have to now! speakigof trip..which leads me to my next celebration....

third.

im going on vacation! for a much much needed getaway. i cant wait to do absolutely nothing for a week but sit in the sunshine and enjoy mounds of mexican food. hallelujah!

fourth.

i finished the first section of chalean extreme. its split into three months- and if i was good and did it every single day like i should than i would have been finished with the first month circut a while ago- but im still just proud of my self to have kept it up! onto my second months circuit! woot.

fifth.

im starting to get better at managing money. so maybe im not "good" at it. but ive had a couple classes from my dad about interest and principle and all that stuff that i just am terrible at understanding- BUUT i am getting better at it. yeah i bought a swim suit the day i got my paycheck- but this will come with time...at least im learning. thats something to celebrate about.

happy cinco de mayo folks.

and if you dont care about the 5th of may, find something simple to celebrate today :)

cant.live.w/out.

so lets see- i could blog about the royal wedding, or even the death of osama bin laden HOWEVER, im not going to. although they are both great and interesting and historical- its refreshing to hear something new right? right. so say hello to a new topic for the moment.

since ive been at a lack of inspiration to base my blog posts about lately, i decided i would resort back to my 6th grade auto bio. im quite please i still have it actually- and one day i will have to post the self portrait i drew on the cover. amazing. todays topic is "My list of items i couldn't live without". pretty intense and intimidating question now that i look at it. but 12 year old lauren went to work on that list.

12 year old lauren:

my list.
1. my family
2. my friends
3. a cozy bed (top three?...ive always loved my sleep what can i say?)
4. my dog, hailey
5. my house
6. clothes
7. the beach
8. disneyland
9. books
10. my boat (i didnt not own it...yet it was "my" boat?)
11. mountains
12. Europe (i was infatuated with europe)
13. music
14. shoes ( a little young to be so materalistic)
15. animals
16. people
17. dance
18. my teachers
19. my blanket (heck yes this made the list!)
20. stuffed animals ( now that seems a little more realisitc for a 12 year old)


since i only did 20 i decided to do 20 again. because if i have no limit- i will go on for days. and daysssss. the list could go on ya know.


21 year old lauren.

my new list of 20 things i couldnt live without.

1. family
2. the gospel
3. zachary
4. friends
5. food. ( why did i not put this before...its a given!)
6. a home.
7. animals (including miss helly)
8. education
9. technology (whatever. its great)
10. beauty supplies (hair, make up essentials...im lame i get it)
11. transportation
12. the BEACH. still made it to the list
13. fashion (clothess, accessories, yadayada)
14. reading matericals (books, magazines)
15. music
16. SUNSHINE. makes me so happy!
17. love
18. vacations.
19. creativity and using that in my workk
20. people. ( just other people makes the world interesting!)

i cant say that i thought very long about my list- cus honest it was just off the top of my head. but i realized that stuffed animals arent a neccessity in my life anymore- but my blanket almost made the cut again. my dad saw it the other day and the netting inside is all packed into one corner and he just started laughing. he held it up and it looked all see-through and asked what we could do to fix it.  dont worry me and my mother have already got this planned! im getting a new netting for it so that it will feel like new. my family knows how much it means to me- which im grateful for cus i do realize its nappy and irrational. BUT i dont care :) not one bit. there are some things you just love and will always love.  those are some of the few things i couldnt live without.
 what are some things YOU cant live w/out?