confessions of a...

Ya know when people talk about their past haunting them? Well my past is pretty calm. Nothing too crazy from me- the worst I ever did was sneak out-oh wait, my friends couldn't even convice me to do that. So you see- I'm not the most dare devil type. It's not that I didn't want to have random adventures- I did still have great times, just nothing that I regret whole heartily today. However, my past is still haunting me. Because it has come to my full attention that I had a bad case of 'toolette'. That's what my friends call it. You know- the girls in the designer jeans, shop at the buckle, 6 days a week spent at the tanning salon. Friends- this was me. This was me at full throttle. And let me tell you- I am not proud.


I once upon a time spent hundreds of dollars on jeans. The more stuff packed onto the pocket- the better! I spent ridiculous amounts of money on juicy charms and juicy slippers, Ed hardy shoes and hats. I even had a really cute Ed hardy key chain (sike). I went tanning like it was my job- I was black on January 2nd. I thought boys with big trucks were so cute, and a little faux hawk would just seal the deal. Put him in a nice pair of trues and i was smitten. And i always had a big pair of diamond studs in my ears.( Don't worry- while I wrote this, I was throwing up in my mouth. ) on a better note, i never once owned a pair of ugg(lies) and dont plan on it either.

These days you couldn't catch me dead. And yes whenever I see jersey shore I can't help but think of my original snooki poof. As much as I wish I could say- I never liked that look, I cant lie. Because when I roam through my highschool pics and Dixie albums - I am haunted by my lack of style and look.
How did i become so obsessed withthe bling and dazzled and why didnt anyone try and stop me? Where was my head and was was elle, glamour, vouge, and harpers baazar to resurrect myself? Was someone playing a sick joke on me and my wallet? Cus it certainly isn't funny and it certainly doesn't make sense why anyone would want anyone to go through such a thing! At night I just have to clothe my eyes and thank everyone that has helped me get back on to the right path that I am on today. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't- I would probably have wings on the back of my shirt- in rhinestones!

Okay okay. although I am disappointed in myself- I have to say that I am glad my past haunts me because of my taste in clothes rather than the choices I made. Because although I wore awful clothing and had awful taste in what was cute- I had some of the best years of my life down in st george (where my toolette days were waxing strong) that I will never forget.  I had the time of my life, even if I was doing it in a Jean skirt from American eagle- I was living with amazing people and having amazing adventures all day long. As I grow up I realize how I wont have those opportunities to live with my friends like that anymore but i will always treasure those memories forever.

So although my past has been haunting me- I also really loved my past. And I've been kind of starting a new chapter in my life, with starting a career and moving back home and growing up- but this time I just hope to do it a with better taste- plain jeans for 10 bucks and certainly no Ed hardy, designer jeans or juicy couture....


until next time, a few photos of my toolette days to humor you.

make it stopppp, make it stooop!!  thats all that i can bear to look at for now ...

adios.xoxxxx.