3 thoughts.

thought 1.

With b spears new cd coming out it's made me think a little about her crazy life. One of my favorite websites did the honor of showing the two sides of brit that we are spectators see- the glammed version that took a team to beautify ms spears and the style craving white trash train wreck. Brits def not known for her amazing style- cus girl don't got any. I still love her, I just can't imagine not having a stylist if I was that rich. Anywho- I love Brit, but the poor girl has had one crazy life. I remember being in high school when she was going down the toilet drain thinking she was going to commit suicide of die of an overdosed before I turned 20. Luckily she changed her ways- from what we know...and things are starting to look up again.

Lots of celebs that have grown up in the limelight have seriously struggled. Drugs, crazy outbursts- you know the drill. Lindsay lohan, Miley, britt, xtina,  mk olsen, Michael Jackson...so on and so forth (maybe everyone except hil duff?) . With a few exceptions- they all, at some point of their life, have made an extremely wild turn. I honestly feel bad for them- because I can't imagine how hard it would be to be in their shoes. To have everyone stalk your life, write about you in every magazine and analyze your decisions would be hard hard hard! anyways- my main thought was that i really hope none of this crazyness happens to justin biebs. i really sincerely think that. i worry about him. and i just really hope and pray that the lifestyle of a celeb doesnt ruin him. it would be so sad to see him grow up and turn into chris breezy who beats his gorgeous gf or kanye whose head is to big for this earth.  ya know? like i just hope he stays grounded and doesnt let this all get to his head.  im not saying i want him to stay perfectly squeeky clean but id like to imagine him staying pretty norm norm.


ps. if he asked me out on date, id say yes. and we would hold hands.

thought 2.

ive got the worst most severe case of the sweet tooth. after evvvverything i eat- must be followed up with a treat. brownies, cookies, marsh mellows, cadburry eggs, lindors, sour watermelons. yeah those are all at my house. that doesnt help. my main problem is that i cannont eat a meal or even snack for heavens sake, without a follow up treat. and its just so convenient that their is candy just laying around every corner of my house and in my purse and every where i turn. today i had a twinkie. ill just end this thought with that right there. a twinkie. enough said. moving on...

thought 3.

once upon a time i used to not like the bath. k well i liked it, but i didnt LOVE it. and to be honest i took one like verrry rarely. this past december i got so so sick for like over a week and everyday to make myself feel better i would get into the bath.  multiple times a day. it was like medicine and for some reason it made climbing into bed so much better and relaxing.   well once i  got better- the baths didnt stop.  ever since then ive taken a bath almost every single day. sometimes twice a day. i get in the mornings, at night, in the middle of the day. whenever i want. especially if im cold. and this is the weird thing- i dont even get in for very long.  just like 15 minutes and im out. but im literally addicted and i crave them. zach has always told me he loved the bath and to be honest i was like- k weirdo just shower! but now i know! now i know that they are addicting and so soothing.  and sometimes i fill it with bubbles galore just like the movies.  my next step is a million candles PLUS the bubbles..and a magazine. to be JUST like the movies. i just got to learn how to enjoy putting my shoulders under the water- im not there yet. its too claustrophobic.

alrightie thats it.

tlc

by far the weirdest/more interesting shows are on TLC. from hoarders to toddlers and tiaras and EVVVERYTHING in between, there are some crrrazy shows. and really they suck you in like your under a spell. you could waste hours sitting there watching people eat strange things and 3 year olds get spray on tans. my thought is- where does TLC find these people? really. do these people know they have a 'strange addiction' and so they apply? does their neighbor suggest them? why would you want people to know you eat glass? or that you need an intervention? i always wonder how people end up on strange shows like that.  there are even weirderrrr shows that i dont know how people get on, or want to be on- like wife swap? anywho! the diversity you see in people from watching TLC shows can be mind boggling. the show that has seriously drawn me in the most is that new coupon show, Extreme Couponing!

let me tell you- these ladies (mostly ladies...and their poor husbands) are obsessed with collecting coupons or aka "couponing". they spend hours a day online, looking through the paper, digging in the recycle bins, etc- collection TONS of coupons. then- on their shopping day, they get allll ready for a long day at the grocery store.  they fill carts FULLL of food. like hundreds of butterfingers, pastas, sauces, cereals. and like i mean hundreds. not just 24. like 412 boxes of pasta. this one couple filled up NINE shopping carts chuck full of food.  then they head to the cashier. (let me just say that if i was that cashier i would probably quit right then and there)  the checkout process lasts over and hour...sometimes up to THREE hours JUST checking out food. their totals go anywhere from 200-900 dollars of groceries. they then scan the coupons....and BAM! 200 dollars worth just turned into 3 bucks. 900 dollars into 34 bucks.  they walk out of the store with HUNDREDS of dollars worth of food for free.

i sat there in awe. like dang that is freaking smart and they get way good deals, but hello- thats all these people care about! they spend their entireeee days planning for their shopping trip. and really- who is gonna eat 400 boxes of pasta? some of the crazy couponers let their neighbors come get food from their storage if they are struggling- which i thought was super nice. buuuut its just straight crazziness all together. yet- i cant help but stare and keep watching :) another problem is they can only buy stuff that they have a coupon for...sucks if you want to get a box of blueberries.

anywho, although the show is a little ridic- it is super entertaining.  it really boggles my mind how many intense crazy people there are in the world. it makes life so much more interesting- yet it makes me happy that im not wasting my life away couponing- but geeze they are getting one heck of a deal!!

confesh. sesh.

my favorite types of music bounce around from time to time. although i like a wide variety, i have my main genres that i like. ive kinda ventured from hip hop, or anything super pop but if i find a fantastic song i embrace and love it whole heartidly. im not a big fan of the overplayed radio songs (thank you ipod) but there are always exceptions to the rules right? every now and again i turn on u92 and jam out to wiz kalifa, because it adds a little spice in my life. however, today we need to talk about my love for the one and only t-pain. im gonna give credit to zach because he has always been a fan- i havent. his first songs were weak and i def wasnt the biggest fan. howwwever- he has def stepped his game up. can i just say im a huge auto tune fan? okay so maybe every artist shouldnt use one- thats a given, however t-pain and his auto tuner are a great little combo. whenever i feel like really jamming out, i turn off my iron and wine and t-pain is my go to. and this week folks, he did NOT disappoint. this will be on repeat, mark my words.

so really thats just about it. i really enjoy me some t-pain. and i know everyone has their go-to's that are not in their average music genre- its part of adding some flavvor to your life right? everybody say thank you to t-pain for this wonderful new jam.

day fifteen.

Last day of my 15 day challenge! first off. serious thanks to the people who commented and gave me ideas of little food combos to try- im going to try them all! seriously! so thanks. and if you think of more- feel free to share :)

Day 15: five good things about yourself. And five bad.

so do i get the bad part over with first or what? i think ill start with the bad so that i can try to redeem myself with the good afterwards.

5 not so good things about lauren.

1. i am NOT so patient. 

to be honest its something i really struggle with. sometimes i have to remember that the time clock isnt revolving around me and my scheduale. i have to bend and compromise a lot in this area and it is noooot easy.  i dont know if its because im the baby of the fam so i never had younger sibilings i had to be patient with or what. im slowly getting better- but im still below average.

2. i get offended easily.

i really try not to- i do i do. but sometimes just a small joke or someone teasing me can go too far and i break down inside. while some people can brush off anything- i cant. i wish i could be one of those people who say, i dont care if they said something about me. maybe this is because i have no brothers- but teasing (with truth to it) can actually really hurt my feelings. i get over it- but in the moment im weak and its def something im trying to be stronger about.

3. i get grumpy when im hungry.

and me grumpy? blah. if my blood sugar gets low- give me food or ill bite someones head off. k no, im not that crazy- but i feel that crazy inside! and when im super hungry- nothing sounds good. really? like why do i become so difficult? then the minute i have food back in me, im laughing and being obnoxious and talking a million miles an hour. bipolor.

4. i compare myself.

yep i do. i like myself- i think im great. but its hard with stupid facebook and stuff these days not to sit and be like, ohh her hair!dang her teeth are magnificant! she has the cutest clothesss ever!  and so on and so forth. its not that im not happy with who i am, i just think its human nature for girls to envy each other at times. and to the girls who never get jealous- teach me how to do it.

5. i cut it close.

all my friends can verify this one for me. im not the most punctual. but i will say this-  im not always late- cus really im not. im just not the person who is there 5-10 minutes early. sometimes im just there RIGHT on time. but this is a very stressful thing- because instead of coming in and driving over all nice, im running and speeding and hair is blowing in my face and im a mess. really? i should just wake up 10 minutes earlier? but that snooze button is magnificant....

whew! i felt like i just exposed myself to the world. yikes.

moving on.

5 good things about me.

1. i have a good heart.

i like to tell myself that i truly care about people. and for me its most obviously seen through the less fortunate. the blind, the homeless,the handicap, the extremely overweight, the crippled- it completely melts my heart. it makes me want to do everything i can to help. it would be my dream to help people or start some sort of relief fund/organization for these people who need extra love.

2. i make a special effort to be involved in all of my families life's.

having 5 sisters can be intense. we are all so different and in different stages of our life- but i realize how much of a blessing that is. i made it a goal about a year ago to have a relationship of my own with each of them and be really good friends. i hardly ever fight with my sisters anymore and i can honestly say that i stand on great terms with all of them and they are all some of my very closest friends. including my parents. i love them both equally and think they are both in my life to teach me important, yet different life lessons.

3. im a generally happy person.

there is people every where who just cant handle happy people. like my favorite mentor, Winn Claybaugh, has said- some people just dont like happy people. and thats just fine- because i cant please everyone. im pretty good at being happy, especially when im around a group of people. and when i am feeling a little down, ive gotten pretty good about out weighing those feelings with good ones.

4. i have no problem with making more/new friends.

although there are times when i get very intimdated- i really am open to being friends with just about anyone.  i feel like i get along with more people than not. we might not become the best of friends- but i really have no problem with at least giving people a chance.  

5. if i say it- i mean it.

and i mean this is the best way possible. if i give someone a compliment or tell them something kind- it always comes from my heart. i believe in complimenting others and if i say that i like your outfit, or that you look super cute that night- i dang well mean it with every fiber of my being.  i never lie a compliment-if it isnt serious and sincere then i would rather just not have heard it.  so iv made sure to be very honest and sincere about complimenting others.

not gonna lie. that was probably one for the hardest posts ive done. of course i could think of lots of weak things about myself- but its embarrasing to share. and the strengths are hard to mutter out because we are taught by society that saying good things about yourself is a sign of pride or cockiness- but i think everyone should give themselves a little praise every now and again. even if it is super hard to admit and share to the world. (theres always a regular journal to write those things in, incase you arent ready for the cyber world journal yet).  well there ya have it, those are the little things that make me ME. and that is by far my most honest and vulnerable post yet.

change.

today was a fine day. just a fine day indeed.

sometimes i get in weird funks or ruts when im just not that motivated. this past week being one of those times. let me elaborate, if you will.

im one of those people who remembers all their dreams. okay saying ALL might be stretching the truth- but more than 60 percent of the time, i wake up and remember my dream. i realize its quite rare, because everyone i talk to seems to remember their dreams like once in a million. not me. i remember them- and if they are weird or scary or what have you, i wake up and feel weird.  have you ever had a dream where someone did something terrible to you and you wake up pissed off at them? well my dream the other day was something of the sort. it had made me feel so rotten inside that i seriously had the hardest time getting myself going that day. all i could think about was my awful dream.  so right then and there i knew i needed to make a couple changes in my life.

i needed to make changes because i knew right then and there that if i had something to take my mind off of it that day, then i would be better. but i didnt have anything to motivate me. so i took a bath and thought of it some more. change change change. i needed a change.  so yesterday i decided i need to give my life a little makeover. i needed to set some goals and have something to look forward to every single day to make me more MOTIVATED.  so i decided to begin a work out plan. i woke up- put on some work out clothes, and headed to the family room and turned on a 3 month work out video. i worked out for a little over an hour and i was in the best mood! i just wanted to do more and more. in highschool when i did cheer and dance- i was exercising everyday. but once i graduated i just became sort of lazy. i would go to the gym every now and again- but sometimes the gym in provo can feel like a dating pool and that was the last reason i went to the gym. so this new workout video is just what i needed!

ive also decided that i need to make other small changes in my life. such as not reading a million blogs before bed- because it just makes my mind stir and then i dont sleep well. ive realized that the smallest changes are going to make the biggest differences. just an hour everyday of exercising with my homegirl chalean is already making me feel happier!


i know this is super random- because it is. but im just grateful to know how much power and control i have over my happiness. no im not on a trip for spring break, no im not somewhere tropical getting a tan- but im here at home and making the best of what ive got.  there are so many times when i get frustrated and sad and feel like i have nothing to do with my days- but i can fix that. i can make my days for all that they are worth. i have complete control over making my life enjoyable even in the darkest of times.

this next week is spring break for zach- and we have decided to make it fun fun fun, even if we are just staying here. we are going to soak up slc for all that its worth. if anyone has any ideas of fun things to do in the good old 801- shout them out. we are going to make this a very enjoyable "staycation"  :)

happy days to all of you. :)

food food fooooood.

day 14.  FIVE strange foods you eat, mix, etc.

before you judge any of these- you have to try them first. then feel free to think its gross.. but until then, you cant have any sort of opinion :)

1. mixage of the dressing.

no salad is a dandy salad until you have mixed 2 different dressing. my favorite combo is the ceaser dressing and balsamic vinegarette mix. poor some of both and BAM its delish. promiise

2. cheese and apples.

cut up the apples into thin litle slices. cut some colby jack cheese into thin little slices. place cheese on apple, devour. perfect little snack eh?

3. cottage cheese w/ bbq chips.

im not kidding- ever single person who sees me do this is like whaaaaat in the world. then i say, try it! and they like it. it sounds weird- i know, but no judging remember? i love the crispy baked bbq chips the best cus they are crunchy. but regular bbq chips work just great too. and the best brand of cottage? the western family brand in the pink cow print container. mark my wordssss.

4.  grilled cheese with jam.

i know most people dip their grilled cheese in like a tomato soup or something- which is good. but i like to put jam on top of mine :) just a nice little spread of rasp. jam across the top will do the trick.

5. i am honestly stuck. i cant think of something off the top of my head right now. but if one comes up- i will be sure to post it.

does anyone else have weird food combos they like? im always down to try something new :)

hello.

hi. we know i have a bad case of loosing things. my latest lose is my camera cord. the usb. ya know...the one that connects the camera to the computer.  it may be because i live in two place. and so i when i take stuff to and from- i loose it along the way. whatever or however i lost it- its driving me nuts. seriously going crazy. i have not taken a picture on my camera since january. zach is probably enjoying me not saying "oooh lets take another pic" but i promise he will thank me later when we have a picture to document all the memories we had.  so just so you all know- im sending out a search and rescue for my cord. im trying to post pone buying a new one because i know the minute i do- i will find it again.
that same thing happened with my license.

it went missing for months and months and so finally my mom made me get a new one. so i did. and then a week later i found my old license. so i had two. it came in hand sometimes- but they were both hideous. let me tell you this- i was so excited to get my new picture for my 21st birthday- i was going to look greaaat and get all ready and wear something cute. no. no no no. i got bronchitis- i turned into death and had to have keri go with me just so i wouldnt die or pass out basically. i got there...with greasy hair and pale sick face- they zoomed in, took the pic and overexposed it with light. can i just tell you that i look smokin? smokin gross.  anywho...


now that i went off on a tangent- ive been really bad at blogging. but trying to get back in the groove of things. mainly because i want to look back on it and remember stuff. i figure i will continue my challenge cus my 15 days is almost over anyways! so lets get back to it.

day 13-      5 great inventions- (in myy mind.)

1. dvr. 
tv in general is fascinating these days- but really dvr is just great. you can watch your show when you want to- fast forward the commercials- and rewind if you must re watch something again.  its made watching the bachelor much more enjoyable and two shows never conflict. congratulations dvr- youre amazing.

2. car.
transportation is huge. but sometimes when im sitting in my car driving- i cant help but think- woah im like sitting in a box that is moving me from point a to point b. im also the control of this little box thing and i tell it when to go and when to stop. and look around me- lots of boxes with lots of people inside them! i know cars arent boxes- but they sure as heck could be! getting to zachs house would be a COMPLETELY different experience if i did not have a car to take me there.

3. words with friends.
all apps are great. i loved angry birds, cut the rope, sallys spa, the list could go on. however i was playing those BY MYSELF. it was just me and my phone taking over the spa world. then i would feel so lame after playing for days. but wwf i have no shame. why? because its like im playing with a friend. because i am. im playing scrabble with a friend. it makes me think and it keeps you in touch (in a way) with lots of people- friends, family, and acquaintances.

4. toothpaste.
what in the world did people do before toothpaste. before brushing your teeth was discovered. poor souls. i cannot imagine the rankness of their breath. did they just get used to it? cus that is something i could never just get used to. morning breath is horrid and some meals cant be covered with a mint of gum. BRUSH BRUSH BRUSH AWAY. i am so grateful for the invention of the tooooothpaste!

5. makeup. 
good riddance to those who look perfect without it. and good riddance to the boys who hate girls who wear it...can i get a HALLELUJAH from all the girls out there that need a little make up in their lives! sure- i bet if i lived back in a time where girls didnt wear any than i would be just quite alright- BUT seeing the difference it can make WITH it on...praise makeup. i just love it. i love the colors, the accents, the texture, the depth, the matte or gloss finish, i wike it all. call me what you want, but im only human here and im no fresh out of the shower model. there are days when i dont even want to put it on- but when i do, im grateful that it is there :)

thank you. that is all.

return.

challenge continued.
i took a little break form my challenge- cus i left my laptop in provo. i still dont have it yet, buttt i figured i would just blog anyways!

5 things that will win me over- in any sort of relationship.

uno. sincerity. nothing is more charming than knowing someone is being 100 percent sincere.

two. hilarious. if you can make me laugh i will seriously be a fan.

three. bieberfever.  i just had to throw it in there. anyone who likes justin bieber is a friend of mine.

four. talker.  seeing as that i talk a lot, i would like to have someone to talk with. stay and chat wont cha?

five. intune with their nerdiness. we all have it. dont hide it- i highly enjoy some nerd in my life. dont be afraid to make a fool of yourself :)

Originality.

My name is Lauren Elizabeth Parker and there is only one of me. Let me tell you something- there is only one of everybody. It's how life was meant to be. We all have different struggles, passions, annoyances, and desires. On some levels we connect to others because we do have similarities of a sort- but no two people are the exact same. It's a blessing really. We get to create who we are and make ourselves stand out as individuals and our unique qualties are what draws people to another. So if we are so lucky to be one in 6 billion- why do we try to be someone else? Why would we want to copy what others are already doing? Why would we want to imitate another's uniqueness and creativity? Why do we yearn to be someone else instead of just improving ourselfs? And I'm not talking about what's on the outside- I'm talking about the stuff that counts here people- what's inside. 

I believe in inspiration. I love learning from others and taking their thoughts and using them to better my life. I love seeing an ad in a magazine and trying to recreate it with a twist of Lauren. I love looking at the world and soaking in what I can. I love swapping good music with others to get new fresh tunes in my library. 
 

But inspiration is not imitation. Imitation is weak. Imitation says nothing about ourselves- it says everything about someone else. It does not show people our minds. It is simply letting another person be your source of creativity and imagination. We are all born with different perspectives- if you asked a room full of people to draw a sunset, no two sunsets  would look the same. Because no two people see one sunset in the exact same manner. 

Why would we waste our lives that are bursting at the seams of originality, be wasted on imitation? Why should we ever think that what we like, think and see isn't as wonderful as others? Thats the beauty of it all. We are all different- and that's how is supposed to be. We werent meant to full time copy cats- or else the world would never change an grow . So embrace yourself- and make YOUR life unique and original. Because you control and shape your life...but remember you only have one- so make it good. 


Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.  ~Judy Garland. 
   

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  ~e.e. cummings


Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep.  ~Samuel Johnson

There is just one life for each of us:  our own.  ~Euripides

Be what you are.  This is the first step toward becoming better than you are.  ~Julius Charles Hare

You were born an original.  Don't die a copy.  ~John Mason

Why try to be someone you're not?  Life is hard enough without adding impersonation to the skills required.  ~Robert Brault

Insist upon your self. Be original. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I WISH...

that everyday could be like today.

the sun was shining. and made me skin happy.

zach and i got free cafe rio for the both of us. thank you 2 full stamp cards. which equals 20 meals? promise they arent all from us.

we sat outside with hellygurl for about two hours on my porch. every couple minutes i had to close my eyes and just take it all in. it was so simple- yet such a breath of fresh air.

between yesterday ive literally seen everyone in my family. babies and husbands and everything. every single person. and not because we had a family party- but theyve all stopped over at one point or another at my house and to be honest ive loved every face i have seen.

and now im going to see my little soph. and im going to make her go get blueberry's with me from the grocery store and purchase either elle, vogue, harpers b., or glamour....or maybe all three. and indulge in every page.



its amazing what a little sunshine can do to the soul.

embarrassed.

sometimes i feel like i have nothing to blog about. yes, i do have my challenge- but sometimes i dont really feel like making a list at the moment. sometimes i feel like rambling on about nothing. but then again- thats not very fun for people to read post after post. but today im going to anyways.  anywho im putting my challenge on hold till tmrw. and i will do my best to cut back on the amount of run-on sentences. i do apologize. i just write how i speak, and no one proof reads or edits these posts- so i treat it like a journ. so really, im sorry if it is hard to read at times.

sometimes im embarrassed.

embarrassed of my fake baking obsession.

lets face it- i was orange. we know this. i know this very well.

embarrassed of my snooki poof.

it was large. it held secrets. it was ugly. we know this. i know this.

embarrassed of my abercrombie wardrobe.

its sad. when i got rid of everything- i legit had to buy an ENTIRE new wardrobe because nothing was left...

embarrassed of my white lip gloss obsesh.

did i dip my lips in powdered sugar? quite possibly.

embarrassed of the way i was not as friendly and outgoing as i should have been in high school.

i didnt reach out enough. i didnt let people get to know the real me. i was labeled, and i just let it happen.

but no matter how embarrassed i am of my horrid style, look and actions- i cant take them back. i cant undo my orange tan, or take off my ed hardy flip flops. i simply cant. 

i had an interesting month. well year, i guess. ive reconnected with a lot of old people from high school, or at least seen them. its hard not to remember them how they were during senior year right? its hard not to remember all the boys being ruthless and mean about my boyfriend and my "poofy" hair.  its hard not to remember that some girls made you cringe. or some were awkward. or that a certain someone spread a nasty rumor about you.  but how unfair is that of me to remember them as the person they were 3 or more years ago? because if i was looking from the outside in, i would be thinking- oh yeah thats lauren parker- she had an orange tan all year round, was a cheerleader so she must have obviously thought she was better than everyone else, and she had the same  friends , ahem clique, the entire time she was in high school. yeah- its true. i was tan, i did do cheer, and i had a close knit group of friends.  but if thats all that someone took from knowing me- than they dont know me at all. not in the slightest.  what they dont know if that i thought being tan would make me feel more secure.  that doing cheer would be a good way to focus my energy and time so that i wouldnt sit at home and feel bad about silly things- and because being part of something made me feel loved.  and that i truly did want to make more friends, i just didnt know how- the thought of it scared me.

so my friends, what im trying to say is.  im so glad we all grow up.  and i realize that all the people i thought i knew in high school- i didnt know a thing about them.  it was such an awkward time that im sure we wish we could take back half the things we said and did.  im sure we wish we could go back and make things right- be friends with more people, judge less, worry less about what we looked like. so yeah- im embarrassed of some of the stuff in the past.  but being embarrassed wont take me anywhere. i learned a valuable lesson however.  everyone deserves another chance.  the memories i have of people from high school are nothing but a small moment in time when people were figuring out who they were- i cant think of them in that light because im sure they have all changed. because i know i have. ive learned to love and to be friends to people who are nothing like me.  ive figured out who i am- and thats much different than the person i was.

give people another chance. because, like me, im sure you would like one too.