1 more to go.

day 29. who are you?




who am i? well i am lauren.
at school we've done a lot of thinking and understanding about ourselves.  how we come off to others, how we communicate, why we are the way we are, etc.  i feel like this last year at school ive learned a lot about myself and how i want to come off to others.  its frustrating because sometimes i feel like people just know the "highschool" lauren. the lauren that was quiet at times and super insecure.  everyone has their fixed interpretation of others right? i always wondered how i came off to people who dont know me very well. well sometimes i wish i could start over with some people- because i truly believe that ive grown up over the past two years.  i like who i am, i know what i like, i am so dead set on who i am and what i believe that i actually feel like im comfortable and happy with who i am! 


Anywho this is a little bit of what ive learned about myself while discovering and learning about myself.
I am an "expressive" personality. meaning that i am a talker. i can talk for ever and i guess sometimes it scares people...weird. ha i am very into relationships- all different kinds, friends, family, lovers, etc. i am super connected to people on a personal level. i like people in general.
I am also very sensitive.  i dont ever want to hurt peoples feelings or make them not like me.  yes i do say mean things at times, but i dont like to argue and disagree with people.  sometiems ill just agree to avoid conflict. i hate conflicts and contention...
wanna know something funny? my friends the other day were voting like who is the most obsessed with boys, who is the craziest..etc...and guess what i got voted? the most annoying. the most annoying..can you believe it? i could. i wasnt even upset about it...i would much rather be annoying than boring! i think just sometiems at school i drink too many red bulls and i really get so hyper and crazy that i just bug people i suppose. ive really just realized that as long as im happy it doesnt matter if people want me to shut it...cus im just having a grand old time! haha but some of those moments are my favorite of all time :)
the only thing i wish i was better at would be to be more outgoing with people that i feel intimidated by. or people who already know me, but just on a calm level.   i wish i could be more loud and the crazy person i really am with just everyone.  its really hard for me for some reason to do that around people that i think already think they know what im all about....(if they only really knew). but its something im working on. slowly but surely.



honestly the most important thing ive learned is that i have to love myself before anyone else is going to or even can love me.  its the most important thing to believe in yourself and to fall inlove with yourself.  its the greatest relationship you can have- might as well make it amazing cus i promise you cant ever escape yourself...might as well make it a love story.


i know that doesnt really tell who i am. i guess you just have to get to know people to really know them right? but if you do never get to know me- i hope that people know that i really am just a nice girl. not out to prove people wrong, but to simply just enjoy life and find people who can make me laugh my head off.  i am not one to be depressed about life and i love to find people who are optimistic about life too.  i find happiness in the smallest of things and i like anyone who wants to be creative and crazy with me.  i love life and im the happiest ive been, and i get even happier every day.

i cant believe Christmas is just a couple days away! the past few years as some of you may know- i spend my holiday in Mexico doing a service project.  it has completely transformed the way i feel and think about my Christmas.  it used to be all about the morning of, opening my presents, being so excited to see what i got, all the Xmas craze with shopping and all that.  but now days its just a lot more low key- my family doesn't do gifts anymore (with a few exceptions here and there) but nothing like it used to be...and we head on down to Mexico instead of curling up and being lazy inside watching the snow.  I'm not gonna lie, at first it was super hard for me to make the change...i wanted the snow and the lights and the magical feeling.  but now i realize that there is way more to Christmas than that.  i can help a family have a house of their own, a place where their family can live and grow up.  its long days and hard work- but its the most rewarding way to spend my Christmas.  so yes i am excited for Christmas just a few days away- but not because i get to open presents and all that jazz- but because that means I'm headed down to Mexico, to be with great people, to make a million new little Mexican buddies, for the early mornings and late nights, the amazing food, and to make some family have a very very merry Christmas.

twennieate.

Day 28. Two confessions.


Okay so i was thinking about what I was going to write about when I was driving back from Provo yesterday and nothing was coming to mind.  Of course when Im really trying to pin point something, my mind goes blank. so Im driving along and a T. Swift song comes on and I quickly change it....then it hit me like a ton of bricks...which leads me to my first confession....



confession 1: I am not obsessed/inlove with taylor swift.




i will tell you this- every girl loves taylor swift. she sings about their life and they have her cd in their car for months on repeat. every girls except- me. dont get me wrong, i like her.  i think her songs are fun and catchy and i download them and listen to them...but after a while im over it.  im done and i dont want to listen to her anymore.  id much rather listen to ingrid, or band of horses, or florence +the machine...or anythins else really. unlike most girls , i dont thank her for writing songs that fit my life exactly- cus they dont...and i dont obsess over every thing about her- cus honestly, im just not that obsessed with her. i think im the only girl in the world who isnt- and frankly, about half of the people reading this right now are thinking ew, i dont like lauren anymore.  which is fine, but you have to remember that i never said i didnt like her- cus i do, i think she is darling and sweet and innocent...im just not OBSESSED like the rest of the world.  so there you have it...i laid it out on the table....now go ahead and judge me for it.

confession 2: i talk to myself. and i dont just talk to myself and have a conversation- i have a full on pretend situation that i act to. so i never really told anyone...until about a week ago- but sometimes when im driving...i pretend that im on a talk show...or that im on a reality show and im a celeb...and i tell ellen allllll about my life and a everything that sounds interesting.  and even when im not driving and just walking around my house by myself i pretend like im on laguna beach, or even better- mtv cribs...and i explain the room as i make my way upstairs to get a string cheese.  i dont really know why i do this- to be honest its really embarassing...but it makes being alone so much more enjoyable i think! and i didnt feel so dumb when katy told me she does the same thing- but she is usually on political debates and such, instead of ellen. this other confession came to me while driving- when i was pretending that i was some famous singer...on ellen and then i realized how weird i am and confession number 2 was in plain sight for me. so yep- you can judge me again...i still play make believe, but at least i know my imagination still works?

challenge cont.

day 27. Perfume of choice.

i will list my daily wears...   

1. Anna Sui - Flight of Fancy.

my newest one zachary got me for graduation. i spray the heck outt of it at urban every time im there. its delish.

2. Aqua di Gioia.

also very new- got it for my birthday. the mens one is amazing, so i could expect nothing less- i was not disappointed.

3. Ed Hardy Perfume.

believe me- i hate ed hardy too, but it doesnt stop the perfume from smelling amazing.

4. DKNY- be delicious.

one of the more well-known ones. zachs parents got it for me for xmas last year and i used it up already so i had to get a new one :) 

( i even got this cute limited edition bottle)

5. MAC- turquatic

not only is it pretty dang cheap but its the perfectly balanced smell. not too fruity, too flowery- just righttttt.

6. Paris Hilton Perfume

just her standard first ever scent. it was my first perfume that was "mine". it was my signature smell and i still like to spray it one every now and again for fun.


7. True Religion Perfume

Im also no T.R. fan- i think its dead and gone, but cant help but love the scent. its a fav.

m.i.a.

m.i.a.
meaning missing in action.
the best way to put it.
I've had the most INSANE past two weeks.
i haven't had just one moment where i wanted to blog- let alone had time to do so.
however as my life slowly but surely starts to move on back to its normal pace- i shall start blogging again.
but before i move on. here are a few things Ive been up to.

1. graduation from school! can you believe that? I'm done. i never have to go to school ever again if i don't want to! its been the most amazing year and a half and I'm excited to see whats in store up ahead :)

steph was my more than willing model. she was perfect i couldn't have pulled it off without her :)

2. brady came home!

so exciting! he was the first of my good guy friends to come home and it made me so excited to see the rest of them as well. I'm so proud of all of them :)

(he was so nervous even putting his arms around us. it was hilarious)

3. My mentor and example- Winn Claybaugh came to our school again and it was just as wonderful as the first time. i wish i could hang out with him everyday because he is just amazing to be around!

we wore our we love winn shirts again and of course sat front row :)

4. Just yesterday my very best friend came home from his mish! his flight was delayed 2 hours but  it was no biggie because his mom and i had already been counting down the weeks so a couple hours wasn't too hard!

welcome home elder cra :)

and lastly i did get bronchitis. i don't have a picture to show for that but you can ask any of my friends and they will tell you that's a great thing- because i wasn't looking so hot.

although being sick is awful- i am so grateful for all the support that was around me. keri took me to the doctor and made me soup, got me sprite, took my temperature- anything i needed. and soph and cate were so sweet to take me to pick up my medication and wait in line for 45 minutes.  they checked my room every so hours to make sure i was still breathing and soph made sure i was drinking enough water :)

even joey sent home a little get better baggie full of medicine and a sweet note. 

and of course my mom and dad were so kind to drive all the way to provo to pick me up and take me back home and also bring my jeep to salt lake as well. i couldn't thank them enough!

and lastly zachary brought me some delish homemade noodle soup and spent the night with me just watching despicable me while i looked like a hot mess. 

i really am so so lucky to have all these friends and family that care about me. i truly am so blessed :

anywho my goal is to finish my 30 day challenge before the end of the year. its not that i dont want to do it- i just take way too much time doing it sometimes that i cant find time in my day to squeeze it in. haha hopefully now that im not as busy i can continue in the blogging world- truth be told i kinda miss it.

so imm back. back for gooood hopefully.

switch

day 26. turn off and ons in the opposite sex.

offs.

-what are those etnies? skater shoes? woah buddy.

-obsessive tanners. you dont look natural. go scrub off your spray-on. 

-over the perfectly sculpted hair. your gelled faux= blehh.

-boys who act like they cant watch girly movies-puhleassse. no one thinks your cool now.

-did you just take your picture in the mirror? shoot me dead.

-bullies, making fun of her/him wont make you look better.

-if you have shopped at buckle within the past year, goodbye.

-crazy partiers. hey will you point me in the direction your going in life? oh you dont know...okay ill ask someone else.

-extremely competitive. to the point where they are MEAN. and ruthless and scary. get a hold of yourself man!

-tools. enough said.

ons.

- basic chivalry. knows how to open the door ya know.

-has a sense of fashion

-likes all types of music

-knows how to hold a conversation with just about anyone.

-has his own likes and dislikes and is passionate about them

-is kind to the waiter. or anyone that is waiting on him in any way shape or form

-comfortable enough to laugh at himself and me

-likes his own family and mine as well. just a family guy indeed

-respectful, knows how girls should be treated

-supports where peoples dreams take them- even if that means dropping out of college and going into hair school.

-just an all-around GOOD boy....i know girls always go for the bad boy, but ill take the good boy and avoid the drama and heartbreak any day.

...just a few i listed. i could always be more picky, knowing me. ha at least i know what i like?